Celebration
Rocío breathed deeply.
1 breath
2 breaths
3 breaths…
She was calmer. She lied over nothing for a while. God, did she really scare Charlie away? She was gone. She made her go away again…
But oh well, it didn’t matter. She didn’t need her help.
But she liked the company she had so much…she felt horrible for pushing her away like that. Charlie said it herself, she was a horrible person. There were no excuses.
When did she get so attached to Charlie? She didn’t even need her, she didn’t need help or company. Like she said before, she had Maisie.
Maisie…
The only one who “listened” to her…
It didn’t matter how much she tries to hide it, it was obvious she was pretending.
She never got over Grace.
She never would.
She was so nice with her, she heard her, she understood her, she cared, and she liked her, or so she thought. The last thing she has of that Grace is her: Maisie.
She had so many good memories with Grace, but somehow, someday, the bitter memories were more than the nicer ones.
She could never form a stable opinion over Grace. Some days she hated her. But some days she missed her so bad.
But she didn’t really miss her.
She missed the other Grace.
The Grace who understood.
The Grace who was so nice to her.
The Grace who gave her happiness.
The Grace who liked her.
The Grace who was her saviour.
The idealized Grace she made up with her stupid fantasies of hope and happiness.
Rocío threw herself to the floor of the misc. fun page, this one being as soft as a bed as she could control the page.
She could see she would spiral into remembering so many stuff she left forgotten.
But she did not try to avoid it. She didn’t care anymore, she is going to stay there her whole life, so why worry about what she does there? She was going to be there until Charlie’s computer collapsed, and Charlie took exaggerated care of her stuff so it wouldn’t.
And then she remembered:
Charlie's questions. Why did she think she could never recover?
A specific memory came back to her. It wasn't a bad one, exactly, but all the memories that kept coming back lately... she had made sure they didn't come back, but it seems her efforts weren't enough. She hated how her entire past kept coming back... but this time she didn't try to stop it.
A few months passed; it was mid-2005.
Rocio was in bed. Her alarm for college went off for 10 minutes straight. But she ignored it. She just kept lying there, staring at the ceiling.
She was so sleepy... she didn't sleep at all...
She was supposed to be sleeping more, but she just couldn't sleep well. And then she would wake up horribly tired and with her energy levels at zero. It was horrible.
She knew this was Tina's effect. Tina kept trying to bring her back.
And she was considering it, but...
Grace...
What would she say?
She could only imagine the look on her face...
She looked at the clock:
6:30 AM
She really had to get out of bed.
With all her might, Rocio got out of the sheets. Her eyes had black bags under them, and her hair was all over the place.
She put on the typical black jacket, a T-shirt, and jeans. Then, she grabbed her bag and left straight away. She was hungry, but she was just going to buy breakfast from somewhere.
She bought three croissants. She had quite the appetite lately, she ate them while she walked to class. On the way, she said hello to Grace, and now they were walking together. That lifted her spirits, but it was very obvious how tired she was. She walked slowly and didn't say much; Grace was the one who talked the most.
Rocio just nodded. She was so tired that she didn't really hear what she was saying. Grace's voice became another sound in the background.
"Do you understand?" Grace asked. Rocio nodded. "Nope, you don't understand. You don't understand a bit of what I said. Are you even listening?" she asked.
"O...of course..." Rocio lied.
"Be honest."
"...Well...not really..."
"I was right," the other one celebrated. "Next time, don't lie to me. It was obvious you weren't listening."
Rocio just laughed.
They continued walking until Grace stared at Rocio. This made her uncomfortable. She wasn't having her best day; she barely combed her hair or put on makeup; her dark circles looked like the eyeshadow she usually wore, and her clothes were somewhat wrinkled. It was very obvious in her eyes that she hadn't slept.
"...Is everything okay there, Rocio? You don't look...very well." Rocio raised her head.
"O...oh! Yes!" I'm fine!" she affirmed. "Just... I'm very tired..." And as if to emphasize what she'd said, she yawned.
"Hmmm..." Grace thought, and they just passed a coffee dispenser. She took two steps back. "Have a coffee."
"Coffee... right... yes, yeah." Rocío grabbed a small cup, pressed a button, and poured herself a cup of coffee.
She didn't drink coffee often, surprisingly. It had never occurred to her, and now she thought; this could be an alternative to Tina.
She smiled, looking at the coffee; she could get out of this.
After finishing the coffee, they continued walking with Grace toward the classroom, which was relatively far away; they weren't walking fast anyway.
Then, Grace asked:
"Are you feeling better? Are you more awake?" She looked at Rocío.
"Yep, I'm better now," Rocío replied, smiling even more than before. "Thanks..."
"Why?"
"For reminding me that coffee exists."
"Oh, well, you're welcome, I guess?" Rocío laughed lightly at that.
Grace laughed a little and took a comb out of her backpack, starting to comb her hair.
"Your hair is a mess, you know that, right?" Grace said.
"Yes, yes, I know..." Rocío had never been so grateful that she'd washed her hair the day before. It really didn't fix how burnt it was from straightening it so much, but worse was letting Grace see her greasy hair...
Grace grabbed Rocío by the arm and led her to the bathroom to comb her hair more thoroughly.
"You know... you don't have to do this," said Rocío, who was embarrassed, her face completely red, but she also couldn't say that she hated Grace’s touch.
"You have to look presentable to go to college, Rocio," Grace replied. "Also, I have some news that I'd like to tell you!.. But you have to look presentable first."
"You're not going to tell me if you don't think I look decent enough?"
"Nope," Rocio just sighed and let Grace continue combing her hair.
"How many times have you dyed your hair?" Grace asked, looking at Rocio's hair, which almost felt like grass.
"About... 7 times a year?"
"Holy shiy" Grace exclaimed. "It's a miracle you didn't go bald."
"I like black..."
"Yes, Rocio, we can tell." Grace finished combing Rocio's hair. Her hair was... definitely better than before, but you could tell Grace had almost ripped it out.
The bell rang.
"Well, at least you look decent enough to go to class" Grace said, then grabbed Rocio's arm and led her to the classroom.
Classes went on normally, except Rocio didn't feel like she was going to faint on the table thanks to the coffee. She felt much better.
One class passed, Rocio asked:
"So what is it you wanted to say?"
"Hmmmm... I'll tell you when we leave." Grace decided.
"Oww...why?"
"So you'll stay with the feeling of anticipation longer."
"You're so mean..." Rocío complained.
"I'm just being myself!" She excused.
And then, hours and hours passed. Rocío just wanted to know what this was all about.
"Can you at least tell me what is it about...?"
"Hmmm...nah, just you wait."
"Ughhh..." She complained again.
And more hours passed. Until finally, they left the university.
"Will you tell me?" Rocío asked anxiously.
"Yeah, yeah, buuuut..."
“WHAT NOW?!"
"Let's go to my house! I'll tell you there!"
Rocío sighed:
"Well...ok..."
And they walked. Grace's house wasn't far away, but the minutes seemed like thousands of years as Rocio had been waiting all day to find out what Grace wanted to say to her.
Until they finally arrived, Grace opened the door and let Rocio in.
"Do you want some tea...?"
"YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY GRACE!” Rocio exclaimed. "JUST TELL ME! SPIT IT OUT!"
"Okay, okay! I'll tell you!" Grace replied. "But calm down, okay?"
Grace led Rocio to her room, where she turned on her computer.
"Okay, back to what I wanted to say," Grace spoke, excited. "Do you know how many views Lacey's page has?"
"How many?" Rocio asked, even more anxious.
Grace opened a tab.
"890,000, and who knows how many more people are entering right now!" Grace exclaimed. "We're going to reach a million!"
"Wait, wait, wait, WHAT?! SINCE WHEN DO SO MANY PEOPLE PLAY LACEY'S!?"
"You didn't know?" Grace asked.
"Well... I've been pretty lost lately..." To tell the truth, Rocio wasn't finding pleasure in anything lately. She had been pretty depressed thanks to Tina leaving. She didn't have the energy to focus on it, but...
To think so many people liked the things she created.
She couldn't help but smile.
"SO MANY PEOPLE LIKED THE PAGE?! Really?!"
"Yep."
"YOU’RE NOT JOKING?!" Rocio rubbed her eyes.
"No!"
Rocio screamed in excitement. Grace looked at her somewhat surprised, but then smiled.
"WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!" And suddenly, an idea came to Rocio. "LET'S DO SOMETHING FOR THE MILLIONTH PERSON WHO VISITS THE PAGE!"
“Don’t you think we're a bit late?" Grace asked.
"We can just do it quickly!" Rocio took out a piece of paper.
"I don't have a drawing program on this computer..." Grace said.
"Well, we'll download it! Go look for Paint Tool Sai right now it's free."
"It's not..."
"Look for the pirated one, it's not hard!" Rocio exclaimed.
"Did you pirate Flash too?"
"Yes," Rocio affirmed as she drew. "Now hurry up, I have the drawing tablet in my backpack."
"You know...I have the money to buy the original..."
"Do whatever you want! As long as you download it..." Rocío continued drawing quickly, throwing paper after paper.
Until finally, she was satisfied with one, she connected her drawing tablet to Grace's computer. She wanted at least to draw something to congratulate them.
She added as many details as she could, but still tried to keep it in her typical style for Lacey's.
She coded a bit, and that was it: the millionth visitor would receive that drawing, and a link to not only invite people to the page but also to brag about it, obviously. Rocío squealed with excitement.
"Oh my god, oh my god! This is something to celebrate!" she exclaimed.
"Mmmm, not right now. We don't know if we'll reach the millionth visitor." Grace chimed in, though it was obvious they would, it was funny to see Rocio's smile fade so quickly. "But, if we reach the millionth visitor..." Grace began to offer. "We could go to eat dinner!”
"GO OUT FOR DINNER!?" Rocio exclaimed, excited, but then remembered something important: she didn't have any money. "Uhh...but...I don't think I have much money..."
"Don't worry!" Grace assured her. "I'll pay for you too. I have more than enough money to pay. Order whatever you want, I'll pay for it, I promise!" Grace offered her pinky. Rocio took a step back.
"Y...you don't have to do it if you don't want to or can't..." Rocio warned her. "I don't mind..."
"Oh, but I do want to, and I can.” Grace assured her. "So I will!”
Rocío blushed; she couldn't help it. No one had ever been that nice to her. And she had never been to a restaurant; she was so excited.
Rocío still remembered that day clearly, and of course, she remembered the food, how delicious it was... she'd love to be able to eat in her heaven just to eat all that again, but she'd be starving half the time if she was given the chance to.
Then, she was interrupted.
"What the hell just happened?" Grace asked into the microphone. She was there, but not connected to the page like Charlie. She was just there.
"Huh...?" Rocío emerged from her cloud of memories that was going to leave her blind. "What are you talking about?"
"The 30 new files."
"What 30 new files?"
"Don't act like you don't know," Grace complained. "The corrupted videos I can't open."
"Huh? Grace, stop making things up, I didn't put anything in there."
"Yeah, sure, we all believe you, Rocío," Grace said sarcastically.
"Seriously... I don't know what you're talking about..." Rocío insisted, angry and confused. Grace looked at her.
"Well, maybe this whole thing Charlie said about the file being controlled by your feelings isn't bullshit.”
"Shut up..."
Grace thought about what Charlie had said an hour earlier.
“But I want you to help Grace, to do your part. It's hard to do this with you not helping…”
"What were you doing?"
Rocío thought whether to answer or not. Why should she tell Grace? Why would she care? But at the same time, these memories had her included, maybe it wasn't a bad idea to tell her... she wanted to tell someone, even if it was someone like Grace...
"I was thinking about that time when we reached a million visitors," Rocío replied.
"Really?" Grace asked, surprised.
"Yes. You took me out to dinner, remember?" Rocío smiled a little at the memory.
"Yes, and apparently my theory that you didn't leave your house was true, because you didn't know any of the restaurants." Grace retorted, her tone somewhere between sarcastic, angry, and mocking.
"Ugh, leave me alone. Why did you even come here? Just to annoy me?"
"I just came to close the file. Charlie left it open," Grace replied. "I've been waiting for you to stop yelling. Can't you try to be nicer to Charlie? At least she tries to help you." Grace sighed.
"SHUT UP, SHIT! JUST CLOSE THE FILE AND GO AWAY!" Rocio yelled, her voice distorting in the process.
"Your temper is so short it's insane." she exclaimed. "Well, bye." And she closed the file.
She sat down in the chair and sighed. It was so hard to deal with an unstable person who was stuck on your computer...
She thought about what Rocio said.
"I was thinking about that time when we hit a million visitors."
A million visitors, huh? The memory came flooding back. It was one of those peaceful memories she had with Rocio. She actually had fun there.
She wondered if it was the same with Rocio.
Oh well, did that affect her? Not at all. It didn't matter anymore.
But still, she found herself reflecting on the memory.
Rocío was all red, she noticed.
"What? No one's ever taken you out to dinner?" she asked, mockingly.
"No..."
"Oh," her smile faded. "Uh... that's too bad... Your first time being taken out to dinner was by your friend, who's a girl, too..."
"So what's the problem?" Rocío asked, genuinely curious. "I don't see a problem."
Grace was uncomfortable. But she continued.
"Well, you know, it would seem like you're a lesbian that way."
"Oh," Rocío sighed. "It's not like it's that bad."
Grace decided not to say anything. Maybe it was better this way.
"But be careful," she warned. "I'll only take you out to dinner if we reach a million."
"Oww... well, don't worry…”She told herself. “It'll definitely happen, there's no way it won't." Rocío exclaimed, looking at the screen that said 930000. Then, she pressed to reload. The number increased to 940000. "See?"
She pressed again, again and again, waiting for the number to increase. Grace grabbed her arm.
"Stop." she exclaimed. "Wait at least 10 minutes to reload it...damn"
Rocío sighed:
"Okay... yeah..."
Then, Grace grabbed a book and started reading it, or so was her plan. She read, but she didn't really understand anything the book said. She was staring at Rocío.
Rocío did nothing but stare at the screen. She could see the excitement in her eyes, in her smile. In all the time she had known her, she had never seen her so excited, so happy.
Rocio always seemed happy around her, but she noticed a sparkle in her eyes when they talked about a specific topic:
Lacey.
She began to notice Rocio's face when they played games: It made her happy. The sparkle in her eyes, the smile she had.
If Grace was honest, it endeared her.
Rocio seemed distracted all the time. But when it came to Lacey, nothing could dull the sparkle in her eyes. She wouldn't stop talking; she liked that Rocio. She tried, and tried, to make that Rocio appear more. She liked that side of her.
9 minutes. She knew it because she could hear Rocio murmuring as the minutes passed. She didn't know if she realized she was doing it, but she was. Rocio seemed to be trembling with excitement; it was strange. But maybe she needed to welcome the strangeness a little more.
Right now, Grace regretted this.
"Ten!" Rocío exclaimed and reloaded Lacey's page. Grace pulled the book away from her face; it was now 950,000. She could see Rocío smiling more and more. And so was she.
Then, the two of them waited 10 minutes to reload the page. Grace wanted to pretend to be calm, but she was actually just as impatient as Rocío, who was silently counting the minutes until she could reload the page again.
And so, an hour passed with her reloading the page every 10 minutes and Grace reading a book, which she couldn't really concentrate on. But after a few minutes, she was finally able to focus a little on the scene in the book.
"His parted lips broke into a smile, and I said to myself, 'What moves me so much about that sleeping little prince is his fidelity to a fl..."
And suddenly, she hear the indicating scream.
"WE DID IT!" Rocio stood up and grabbed Grace by the shoulders. She was grinning from ear to ear. "ONE MILLION VISITORS! ONE MILLION!!
"REALLY?" Grace wasn't going to deny it; she was also surprised and happy. She walked over to the computer, staring at the screen. 1,000,000. They've done it.
Rocio hugged Grace so tightly that Grace swore she was going to lose her breath or even die. Or was she going to break her ribs?
"WE DID IT! WE DID IT!" Rocío repeated happily, running around Grace's room. It was an interesting scene. She was so strange, but she looked free, and Grace liked that.
She'd never seen such happiness on her face.
And she'd never see it again.
She was happy too. She felt famous. 1 million people. 1 million people knew about the games they made, and surely, even more people knew it. In fact, many more people were going to know about them. She liked knowing that, she was excited to know that.
All her life, her parents said that programming games, doing what she genuinely liked, she would never amount to anything in her life. But look at her now, 1 million. 1 million people visited the page, and even more people were coming every minute. She felt like throwing that in her parents' faces.
Too bad her pride wouldn't last long.
"WE DID IT! WE DID IT!" Rocío exclaimed. "GRACE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? WE'RE FAMOUS! FAMOUS! THIS IS GREAT!" And she proceeded to name everything Lacey could end up being. "AND MAYBE LACEY WILL BE ON TV AND... AND..."
"Okay, okay! Stop Rocío!" Grace exclaimed. "Let's not set our expectations too high, okay? It's better this way in case something happens..."
"Owww..." Rocío complained, pouting. "Okay..."
Thanks god she said that.
"Aww, go on, smile! We reached one million." Grace tried to encourage the sad Rocío. "Like you said, we should celebrate, and like I promised, I'm going to take you out to dinner."
"REALLY!?" Rocío smiled again.
"Yep," Grace replied, smiling back. Rocio let out another excited squeal, then Grace hugged her. Rocio hugged her back.
"YAYY! ...When are we going?" Rocio asked.
"So...we can go now if you want..." Grace offered.
"I'd like to shower first..." she replied. "And put on something nicer than the clothes I've been wearing since 7 AM..."
"You're right," Grace nodded. "Me too...so, what time do we meet?"
"I don't know," Rocio thought. "Does 8:30 sound good to you?"
"Yep!" Grace nodded. "8:30 it is then."
Rocio stood up and grabbed her bag.
"See ya!"
"See ya!" Grace waved at her and left.
It was 7:00, so Grace went straight to the shower. She washed her hair, and when she got out, she carefully dried it. Then she combed her hair, leaving it down as usual.
She found her best dress; it was a good occasion to wear a dress, right? It was something to celebrate.
She put on a green dress, her favorite color. And put on shoes, and just in case it was cold, a jacket and long socks underneath. The kind that goes from foot to waist.
She was ready. She waited a while, and then she realized.
...She never told Rocío where they would meet.
She called her.
No answer; she was probably showering. Then she called her again; still no answer.
And she called her, and she called her, and she kept calling... no answer.
Grace was about to give up, until she finally called back.
"Hello!" she greeted.
"What were you doing?" I've been calling you for half an hour, it's already 8:20!
"Oh, sorry, my phone didn't make a sound…" Rocio apologized. "By the way, where are we going?"
"That's where I was getting at, Rocio..."
"Sorry!" She apologized again. "Should we meet in front of your house?"
Grace thought:
"Okay, good idea. That way you won't get lost..." Grace laughed.
Then, Grace waited. For about 20 minutes, god, what was that girl doing?
And finally, she heard someone knocking on her door.
She quickly got up and opened the door. Rocio was standing there. She was wearing a black jacket, the same one that looked very worn. She was wearing a black striped T-shirt, and jeans with some old Converse. She had a black purse, different from the bag she carried to college. Rocio blushed when she saw Grace.
"Well, you couldn't be more basic, right?"
"U...ummm..." Rocío froze. "I...erm...I didn't know...I had to dress up formally…"
"It's ok" Grace affirmed. "Don't change again, it took you half a thousand years to come here."
"Ok..." Rocío looked at the floor, embarrassed. Grace pushed her aside and started walking.
"Come on, follow me. It's not far."
Then, Rocío followed Grace, and together they walked to the restaurant.
When they arrived, Rocío looked around the restaurant. The walls appeared to be made of wood, but they only looked like it; pictures and paintings decorated them. The tables were squared, with cutlery already laid out, each table had a menu and napkins. There were tables by the window and outside, and there was a TV inside to entertain customers while they waited. Grace sat outside at a table for two and motioned for Rocío to sit opposite to her.
"You look around a lot. Have you never been to a restaurant?"
"No..." Rocío replied honestly. "I only know the ones in movies. They were so formal, they even had a carpet on the floor... I was so embarrassed to come like this..."
"And don't you have any formal clothes?" Grace asked, looking Rocío up and down. Rocío blushed twice as much.
"Ermm...not much..." Rocío laughed nervously.
"Well, someday we have to go go shopping together then! I'll help you choose! I know exactly which dresses would look PERFECT on you.” Rocío smiled a little, but her face was still red, embarrassed. "Maybe you'll look more feminine."
"Yes..." Rocío replied, smiling. "I'd like to..."
"Okay! When then?"
"Uhh... I'm really busy this whole week after today..." Rocío replied.
"Aww... that's too bad... we'll see next week then!"
"Yep..."
Grace grabbed the menu. Rocío just stared at Grace, distracted, confused, as if she didn't know what to do.
"So... what are you going to order?"
"OH!" Rocío quickly grabbed the menu and looked at what was on it.
10 minutes later, Rocío still hadn't decided. She flipped through page after page, there were four of them. She had never really been to a restaurant, had she? She couldn't seem to decide. Grace noticed Rocio's surprised expression. Was she surprised there was so much variety?
HAS NO ONE EVER TAKEN HER OUT TO EAT IN HER LIFE?
That continued to surprise her. God, did Rocio even have any friends?
Grace started to think...
Really...she never saw her with anyone else...at least in college...
Nah, there was no way she was her first friend. She must have had other friends before.
...Right?
Rocio was so strange.
"Well...take your time deciding then..." Grace said, her tone sarcastic.
"Ugh...it's so hard..." she complained. "There's so much variety...I want everything..."
"I can pay for that."
"WHAT? NO!" Rocio exclaimed. "I'M NOT EATING THAT MUCH!"
"You can take it home!"
"No need...it would be weird..." Rocío looked away.
"You're already weird, so I don't see a problem." Grace giggled. So did Rocío.
"What are you going to order?" Rocío asked.
"A hake fillet," Grace replied. Rocío turned even redder.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. She seemed to want to say something, but didn't have the courage.
"C'mon tell me what you want, Ro..." Grace begged.
"...Okay..." Rocío sighed. "...um, pizza? Is that okay?"
"Pizza? Ten minutes just to order pizza?"
"Well, sorry..."
"You can't be more basic..." Grace laughed, then called a waiter to give them their order.
While they waited, Grace noticed that Rocio looked a little... uncomfortable? Not exactly uncomfortable, but she could tell she was embarrassed. Rocio had always been a shy girl. If she were to be honest, that's the Rocio she knew: quiet, shy, but...
She wished that would change.
She liked the Rocio she saw when they talked about Lacey, the enthusiastic Rocio who talked so much. She was strange, yes, but she liked that. She liked that she wasn't like the others. She was so bored of all the girls who looked like copy-pastes of each other, all with the same fake personality they copied from someone else to be socially accepted. And that included her. She was fake, she copied personalities to be socially accepted, she cared too much about what others thought of her. But maybe not being socially accepted wasn't so bad. Seeing the Rocío who just acted like herself, the Rocío who was happy and unrestricted, who seemed to forget any feeling of being judged, she couldn't help but smile, and want to be just as free.
That's why she didn't want any more shyness coming from the girl she'd known for a whole year. She knew Rocío well (or so she thought?) and wanted her to stop restricting herself. She knew Rocío was afraid of being judged by her, she could see her regret every time she let herself get carried away by her own happiness, the embarrassed look on her face when she acted that way around her. And Grace, yes, she thought Rocío was weird, strange, she even saw her as an alien sometimes, but she was fun.
And maybe this would help her loosen up more, too.
"Rocío?" Grace began.
"Yes, Grace...?" Rocío barely looked up. Grace sighed.
"Rocío, stop messing around," she half-joked. "Really?"
"Really what...?" Rocío freaked out.
"Look, Rocio, we've known each other since 2003. We've been friends for a year. You don't have to keep acting all shy around me! God, we even proggrammed games together, we work together! You don't have to keep being all shy around me, God! Loosen up, let yourself be, be free. We've known each other for years now, and you're still acting all shy around me."
"I..." Rocío stammered. "I've never been to a restaurant, and no one has ever taken me out to dinner... I don't really know what to do..."
"Yeah I noticed and I'm not talking about this, I'm talking about everything in general, Rocío. I want you to let yourself be. Be more free around me, don't be afraid of me!" I like you the way you are, and I want to get to know you better. After all, I have to get to know the person I'm programming these games with better, right? If it weren't for you, I never would have gotten here. Stop being so shy with me, okay?”
Rocío looked at Grace. Surprised. And then she smiled.
"I'll be less shy!"
"Promise?" Grace offered her pinky finger.
"Oh! Will you cut it off?" Rocío pulled her finger away.
"Hmm, who knows. But rest assured, if you don't break the promise, I won't cut it off."
"I hope not," Rocío said, and intertwined her finger with Grace's.
The waiter came, bringing their plates with what they they ordered, two slices of pizza and a hake fillet with salad. Rocío looked at the food in amazement.
"Hey, can you get us anything else?" Grace asked. Rocío turned to look at her, confused. "A bottle of cider, please."
"Oh, do you drink alcohol?"
"Rocío..." Grace laughed. "I'm 20, of course I drink alcohol. Besides, we're celebrating, a little alcohol wouldn't be bad, right?"
"I didn't expect that from you, to be honest. You have the face of a saint, someone who wouldn't do anything ‘bad’ “
"Drinking alcohol isn't so bad every now and then," Grace mentioned.
"I like that you're not a typical saint like some people.” Rocío smiled, not from embarrassment or nerves; this was a genuine smile, one of confidence. Grace smiled too. This was the Rocío she loved so much.
Then, the waiter brought them what they ordered: a cider, and they began to eat, Grace occasionally giggling at the difference between what she ate and what Rocío ate. Rocío was much simpler, and it showed not only in what she ordered, but in how she dressed as well. Okay, that sounds like an insult... but Grace says it nicely: She liked her like that. It made her feel more comfortable with her; no one was going to judge her with "Oh, you're so basic" here.
(Although she kept judging Rocío like that. And she just realized it.)
Then, Rocío served Grace the cider, and they toasted the success of their games.
If they made it this far, they could go so much further. They just had to try harder.
Right?
That's what she thought.
Grace found herself getting melancholic about this memory. But not just melancholy. Regret too.
If only she'd gotten out of there sooner, everything she could have been now...
If only she'd listened to her parents and studied medicine.
She thought she could have achieved much more through programming, but look at her now. She worked fixing computers. She really was stupid, she couldn't be completely happy, it's impossible not to hate at least one aspect of your life, Grace thought.
Then she thought again of Rocio's smile: What the hell happened?
And in all the time she could have asked herself that question, she just asked herself now. Wasn't that stupid? Charlie was right. She was just as horrible as Rocio. She always knew it, but she never wanted to admit it. She wanted to maintain her ego.
Grace returned to that memory:
After a few drinks and a second glass, Grace was already somewhat drunk. While Rocio was on her third, and wow, she was doing great. Or so she thought.
Afterward, she didn't remember much, but Rocio was walking her home, the two of them laughing.
And then the next day, Grace woke up at home. Her head was hurting, but other than that, she was perfectly fine and safe. Carefully getting up, she found a note. It was from Rocio.
She tried to read it, but it was poorly written; it was obvious she'd written it in a hurry and drunk. But she managed to make out a few things.
"For the headache. Goodnight, Gracie!"
Grace smiled and saw some pills on the back. She took them.
It used to be so nice hanging out with Rocio.
What happened?
Why did she never ask?
Was it fun for Rocío?
Or did she just not notice?
Grace wasn't ready to face reality.
She got up, she better go to sleep.