Happyness

So, Grace had no choice but to tell Charlie everything, who wasn't trying to hide her excitement at getting told how she and Rocio met and ended up here.

Charlie listened intently to what Grace was saying, amazed. Based on Grace's description of herself in the past, she seriously didn't expect Grace to talk to Rocio by her own will. And really, Grace doesn't even come close to the kind of person you'd see with someone like Rocio even now.

"Woah! So you can draw too?!" she exclaimed.

"Why does everyone assume I can't draw…?" Grace sighed, frustrated. "Who do you think was doing the drawings when Rocio couldn't?"

"I never thought about that..." Charlie began to consider that Rocio must have taken a break at some point...or so she hoped, although she doubted.

"Well, the truth is, there were hardly any moments when Rocio wasn't drawing, but I still helped her with the illustrations from time to time, you know?" Grace mentioned, then clarified. "The normal ones. I would never do something like that."

Grace was no better than Rocio not trying to stop her or erase the disturbing things she added, but she still nodded.

"So, you started talking because you both drew?" Charlie asked.

"That and because I lost all my friends. Last resort, and also because judging people by their appearance is wrong and I wanted to change." Grace looked at the computer. "Maybe it wasn't the best idea."

Charlie sighed angrily.

"Ugh, Grace, don't say that! Not all people who dress in an alternative style are highly mentally unstable people like Rocio," Charlie retorted, tired of people assuming an entire group is the same because of ONE PERSON.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm just saying." Grace rolled her eyes. She didn't take Charlie very seriously sometimes. Knowing that Charlie was a little girl when they were making the games, she saw her as just that: a little girl. But, well, she wasn't, or at least not anymore.

"So, why don't you go and talk to her, huh? That's why you came, right?" Grace stood up and walked over to the computer, motioning for Charlie to go.

Grace helped Charlie with the machine she'd created to connect to the computer, putting everything back in its place, although really, Charlie already knew how to do it on her own. Maybe she should let Charlie take the machine and never come back so this would all be over once and for all, but...

"Fine. Now do your thing," Grace bossed around, leaving Charlie alone.

Charlie sighed; of course Grace wasn't going to stay. She looked at the familiar pink world of Lacey's website.

"Rocío, Rocío, are you here?" Charlie asked, mimicking the ghost-summoning games she used to play in elementary school and then get yelled at for it. There was no response for a good 10 minutes.

"Well, I guess you won't be showing up easily today either, huh? Okay, I'll wait. Or I'll look for you, whatever you want." Charlie offered. She decided to wait a while for Rocío to show up. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea to look for her or let her talk to her if she really wanted to. Because at the same time, there was no way to know what was going through Rocío's mind, if she wanted to be found, or if she wanted to be left alone.

So, Charlie started playing the games. It wasn't to find Rocío and force her to talk, but because she was feeling bored. She went through Petshop, Wardrobe, and whatever the site let her play. She was really looking forward to playing more games someday. She was curious, and besides, she was bored of always playing the same old thing.

As Charlie swiped through Wardrobe for the tenth time, she noticed another window had opened, but this one was VERY far to the side, barely visible, just the edge of the window.

"Oh, Rocío," Charlie smiled. "Did you really think you were going to go unnoticed? I'm not that stupid." She stared out the window for a while; she knew Rocío was spying on her. If it wasn't Rocío, who would it be? She doubted Grace would make the effort to hide the fact that she was spying on her if she did.

With a click, she made the window slide so Charlie could see it. It was Grace's hacked camera again.

<you're_so_boring>

"Isn't it better to just face me and talk to me?" Charlie asked.

<I'd_rather_look_at_you_it's_more_fun>

"Does that mean you don't want to talk?"

<I_don't_care_but_I_would_have_loved_if_you_left_me_alone>

Charlie looked at her with curiosity and interest:

"Could you tell me why?" Charlie asked.

<I_know_what_you_want_to_do_," the other girl replied.

"What do you mean by that, Rocío?" Char asked.

<I_could_also_hear_from_the_microphone_until_GRACE_noticed_and_turned_it_off>

"Oh wow..." Charlie was amazed. "You have access to a lot of things, huh? Your ears must be good." She congratulated her. "Then please answer me, Rocío. What do you think I want to do?"

<You're_going_to_take_me_out_of_my_heaven> The other responded, although it was written, a certain tone of anger could be noticed.

"Well now... I never said I'd do that."

<Well_even_though_you_never_said it_I_know_ you'll_do_it¡_Everyone_says that_It's_for_my_own_good_and_they_don't_even_understand>

"I won't get you out of here if you don't want me to, Rocío." Charlie responded frankly. "The final decision will always be yours. I can't decide for you."

<Well_I_want_to_spend_the_rest_of_my_eternal_life_here>

"I'd like to talk a little bit before you make your final decision... but only if you want," Charlie offered.

<I_dont_need_to_keep_thinking_about_my_decision_I_already_made_it_years_ago.>

"Well, you can always change your mind. But you know, I want to ask you something else now," Charlie mentioned. "Would you mind?"

<tell_me_what_you_want>

"Well, I just...wanted to ask you...you said the games at first were to distract you...Distract you...from what?" Charlie asked. "Remember, you don't have to answer anything you don't want to answer..."

Rocío thought. Yes, that's what the games were for, but...seriously, she started to wonder, what happened?

She had promised herself never to think about it again, but the question made all those memories she left in the back of her mind come back and invade her. A hell she wanted to get rid of, but never could.

The year was 2004. Recently, Rocío had made a new friend. Her name was Grace. They used to only talk to each other about college assignments, but lately, she had started talking to her a lot more. She was good to her, didn't make fun of her, and showed interest in the topics she talked about, even making little comments.

The truth is, Rocio hadn't planned on making friends in college, or at any point in her life, really, but the company felt good. She never experienced so much company. She always looked at the other girls in their groups, always together, talking about whatever came to mind. It seemed like...fun. But no one ever approached her unless it was to fight, so she made friends with solitude, spending her time drawing or reading.

Or that was until Grace came into her life. She didn't know why Grace had decided to talk to her. She didn't know if she was being forced, or if it was out of pure desperation. But to be honest, if Grace had wanted another friend, with how sociable she is, she could have easily found one. But whatever the reason was, she didn't really care. She felt good. The company felt so good; she no longer felt like a ghost thinking about how she was going to attack her prey. She no longer felt so...angry. She no longer felt so invisible. And for the first time in her life, she wasn't a spectator, but the protagonist of everything she had envied.

She felt so, so happy... she'd never felt like this in her life.

She never felt so

understood.

She had an underlying feeling that Grace's understanding was just a mask, and that she actually hated her, but she wanted to be happy. At least for a while. She wanted to think this was all real, because it made her so... so happy...

Even if she was just feeding her lies, she would swallow them if it meant not feeling alone again.

But in some moment, she completely forgot about that underlying feeling. Grace was good to her, and this made her happy. If Grace had a problem with her, she would tell her, right? She would tell her, right?

RIGHT?

Of course she would. Grace is very nice and honest. She truly understood her. And she had proof. The day before, they were in a park. They had gotten together to do a project. When they finished, Rocío told her about the things she liked, and Grace listened attentively (or so she thought). She began to tell her about Flash games, since they were starting to catch her attention.

"You know... I've always wanted to make some kind of video game like that..." Rocío told Grace.

"So, do you know how to use Flash?" Grace asked. "Making a videogame... sounds interesting."

"Yes!" Rocío replied. "Sounds good, right?! I'm learning how to use it. Maybe I could try making a videogame with it..."

"Like those games for little girls that are on the internet?" Grace mentioned, taking Rocío by surprise.

"Huh?" Rocío turned her head to the side. "Oh, uh, yeah, of course..." Rocío replied. She had never thought about it, but Grace was the first friend who seemed to care about her, and she didn't want to scare her away with her weird interests.

"It would be fun," Grace replied. "Making games for little girls... I'd like doing it."

"Really?"

"Yes, I saw a niece play them; they're quite popular with girls." Grace smiled. "We both know programming, and Flash is relatively easy to use..."

Rocío felt a wave of excitement when she heard "both."

"Does that mean...?" She asked with anticipation and some surprise. "Would you like to make games... WITH ME?"

"Nmm, if you want..." Rocío had never smiled so much.

"YES!" She exclaimed with a big smile that she didn't even notice. "I mean...uh...Yes, why not?"

Grace laughed at Rocío's attempt to dampen her enthusiasm.

"Well, do you want to brainstorm?" You know, thinking about what we're going to do first... I have some ideas.”

Rocio couldn't explain the happiness she felt at that moment. She was going to do something with Grace! AND IT WASN’T SOMETHING RELATED TO UNIVERSITY! IT WAS SOMETHING THEY BOTH WANTED TO DO! Well, the truth is, Rocio hadn't thought about games for girls, but she was happy with the simple fact that she was going to do something with Grace, and if it was something with Grace, she wanted to do it.

Grace started talking to her about the games she saw her niece playing and websites about games for girls. Meanwhile, Rocio drew ideas for the main character of her game; she'd never felt so happy while drawing. Well, drawing was always an escape from her reality, giving her a break from everything that was making her suffer, distracting her. But this time, she didn't feel the need to let her art distract her from her reality. Right now, she was having a good time. She didn't feel the need to escape. In fact, she didn't want this moment to ever end.

Even now, this was still one of the happiest memories she had.

She went through different designs for the protagonist of what their game would be like—a blonde? Very ordinary, red hair? It didn't satisfy her.

No design satisfied her. If she was going to be honest, it was difficult for her to create a character for a video game for little girls; she'd never done anything like that, and she'd never planned to do anything like that. In fact, she couldn't see herself creating anything for little girls.

She really had no idea what to draw.

Until she suddenly remembered a drawing she'd done a few weeks ago. The girl with part of her hair in two ponytails, which she'd shown to Grace. It was one of the few normal drawings she had to show her at the time.

She drew her again, making her style as childlike as possible. Her hair was white and her eyes were pink.

"Wouldn’t her white hair be kind of strange?" Grace pointed out.

"Why? People with albinism exist," Rocío mentioned.

"I'm just saying... I feel like white hair doesn't suit..."

"Hmm..." Rocío thought. And then it occurred to her to change the color to a dark turquoise and make her eyes white. She liked this one much better than the other; she looked much happier like this somehow.

"What do you think of this one?" She showed it to Grace.

"This one's pretty good! Let's just leave it like that!" she exclaimed, smiling. "Now, there's just one more thing left. What will her name be?"

"Hmm..." Rocio thought. "Emma?"

"Basic," Grace thought, and then offered, "What do you think of Maisie?"

"...She doesn't look much like a Maisie."

"Jessie."

"No..."

"Sophie!"

"What's with you and names that end in ie?" Rocio asked, being ignored.

"I know! I know! Lacey!" Grace exclaimed confidently. "Lacey will be her name!"

"Lacey..." Rocío repeated, thinking. "That one fits, it looks good on her..."

"See? I'm amazing!" Grace boasted. Rocío giggled. She was really enjoying this moment. Even if making something for a children's audience wasn't her thing, she wanted to do this more often.

So, after thinking about what they would do as their first game, they came up with the idea of ​​making one of those games where you measured the love between two names you typed.

Grace smiled. Rocío smiled too.

After making a bunch of drawings of what they would do, Rocío decided to digitalize it at home. And so, what was supposed to be a homework hangout turned into one of the best memories she would have in her entire life.

While she digitalized the protagonist of her games, she experimented with the clothes she would wear. Normally, she drew characters in darker styles, but Lacey had to be a normal girl. Well, not exactly normal because drawing her in basic clothes would be boring, but it would have to be enjoyable for the little girls playing. She had really stepped out of her comfort zone. But at the same time, she liked it. She liked going beyond what she normally did and drawing Lacey in so many different outfits; it made her happy.

And so, they released their first game. Grace and Rocío discussed for a while where they were going to publish it, since they hadn't really planned on releasing more than one game yet. It was supposed to be just a one-time thing, for fun. But when they saw several people playing and commenting on their game, it would be fun to release another one, right?

And so, they started making more and more games, each one more popular than the last. They had created separate accounts for the games, discussed for a long time what they would be called, but then decided to just combine their last names and use "Yaniaso." Yani for Rocio, and Aso for Asop. Rocio enjoyed making the games so much, especially with Grace. She liked to do things that they both seemed to enjoy.

One day, they had gotten together to discuss something about the games. They were in Grace's apartment, since Rocio wasn't...the tidiest. She tried, but there was still some mess.

Grace was putting some final touches to the code, while Rocio thought.

"Hey, Grace..." Rocio began. The other turned to look at her, listening. "I was thinking...don't you think it would be better to have our own page? Think about it, it would be much easier to find our games, and it would be much more organized." Rocio offered.

"Oh," Grace thought."Nmm..." She put a thumb to her chin. "That's a very good idea. It would be so much more organized..."

"I'll make the page," Rocío agreed. "We could publish this game with the page. I feel like it would get more people to visit it, since if they wanted to play it, they'd be forced to go there..." Rocío laughed a little.

"Nmm, you're right..." Grace smiled. "But... the page will probably take at least a few months, and this game is literally already finished... We publish this one, and then for the next game, we publish it on the page, okay?"

"Yep!" Rocío nodded. "We could prepare something big for the page launch..."

Grace started to think, and suddenly she got an idea:

"Don't you think Lacey is quite lonely?" Grace began. "Wouldn't she look good with some friends?"

"Ooooh, I see where you're going..."

"Trios are pretty popular in these kinds of games lately, so why not add two more friends?" Grace offered.

"Hmmm..." Rocio took a notebook out of her bag, starting to sketch out ideas.

Idea after idea, they ended up with two designs for two girls. One with a pink afro, a girl who liked stars, and the other, a tomboy skater.

"Now...the names..." Rocío sighed.

"Do you remember the Maisie's name?" Grace offered again.

"Yep, I remember." Rocio looked at the girl with the pink afro. "It would suit her."

"And for the tomboy...nmm...Jessie!"

"What's up with names that end in an i? Lacey and Maisie are already enough names ending in i…” Rocio began to think. "What do you think of Jay?"

"Jay..." Grace repeated. "It suits her."

"Well, that's how it will be then..." They looked at their creation. "Maisie and Jay, Lacey's best friends!"

Then, they started sketching what the official website would look like, and the game they would use to introduce the new girls.

Rocio smiled.

It was crazy.

It was crazy how in just one year, Rocio's life had changed so much.

She had arrived at her apartment, hung up her jacket, and sat on the couch, looking at all the sketches about Lacey and her friends.

This made her happy.

Was it...

Was it really possible?

Her, the girl so pathetic and pessimistic that no one spoke to and spent days locked in her room.

The girl who was completely ruined by someone else's hands.

Could she be happy?

It was strange, how in a few months she went from believing she didn't really have a future and should drop out of college to being so optimistic with Grace.

Rocío started thinking about everything that had happened to her.

She started thinking about him.

Even with all that, she was still alive. And even though she had no hope that all of that would ever leave her, and every time she tried to sleep, she had nightmares

It seemed like things really could get better.

Things were getting better.

Maybe not all of her future was ruined by him.

She could move on.

And forget about him completely?

Yes, that marked her for life, that was clear to her, but...

On the internet, she saw several people giving tips and saying the same thing.

Everything will get better. You can get better.

And it seemed like everything was getting better.

And she really enjoyed her life right now. She enjoyed being with Grace. She loved her so much. Every moment she was with her, she felt like everything bad disappeared. She felt safe. She'd never felt this feeling before, with anyone. Was this what it felt like to have friends?

It was crazy for Rocío how she went from being a spectator to a protagonist.

And she really didn't want to ruin it.

She didn't want to ruin it by feeling bad, and doing something stupid because she felt bad.

So, she put down her notebook and went to her room. There, she went to her desk and sat down in the chair she'd snatched off the street from someone who'd thrown it away even though it was still usable.

There, she turned on her computer, the familiar Windows XP landscape welcoming her.

She opened Internet Explorer:

"How to improve your mental health?"

"So, I asked her, if the games were to distract her, distract her from what? She didn't answer for like 10 minutes, and then I got the 404 error page.”

"Oh wow, that conversation was really short, huh?" Grace laughed a little. "I told you, Rocío isn't easy to help."

"I know..." Charlie sighed. "But I still want to try, you know? Trying is never bad..."

"Uh-huh, I know..." Grace looked away from Charlie.

Oh

So she broke the page again?

She used to do it on purpose sometimes, but this time, she really hadn't noticed. In fact, she didn't even know how much time had passed. But really, she lost all sense of time long ago. In her heaven, made for her, there was no such thing as seconds, minutes, or hours (except for Lacey's diner) because what would she need it for?

"Well, I have to ask for notes since I was absent again today," Charlie then announced. "I'll come back tomorrow after college, which should be around 6 PM , okay? 

“I'd like you to come sooner, but, well, it is what it is. And besides, if it really were for what I wanted, I'd like it if you didn't come back," Grace joked. "So, bye. The door's right there."

"God, how rude can you be?” Charlie laughed. "See you tomorrow!"

Rocío sighed. She heard Charlie grabbing her things and heading out the door. Grace's computer was really good.

She could start her personal torture again. Or anything that would help her forget everything she just remembered.